David Cameron, Alistair Darling, Willie Rennie, Johann Lamont et al all talk about the positive case for the union, but no one more so than Alistair Darling the head of Better Together and a Labour MP in disguise as a Tory MP, as they all are.
But anyway I have decided that I am not waiting anymore on the positive case and will just come up with my own list of who the union is positive for. I am sure that Darling has this in mind when he talks about ‘his union‘.
The UNION is GREAT if you are:
Alistair Darling, MP Labour i.e. Tory in disguise. Alistair is the legend of the home flipping, makes hundreds of thousands giving speeches about nothing at all, is the Darling of the Conservative Party Conference. Rarely turns up to vote at Westminster and loves to tell you that you are too wee, too poor and too stupid. The Union is very positive for Alistair, he makes a mint from it and has ripped it off for thousands.
40 other Scottish Labour MPs. Yeah the Unions is great for them; they get to live in London. They earn thousands of pounds in salary, many more thousands of pounds in expenses; get to travel the world at our expense. They get to talk Scotland down at every turn from the safety of London, by lying to their constituents year on year they ensure a great pension for their future and they might get to pass their seat on to their kids. The Union is great for them.
The Windsor’s. The Union great for them and let’s them pretend that they are the Royalty of an Empire, they get millions in tax payers’ money every year for doing nothing, the scum of the earth get to bow to them and some Americans love them. The Union gives them a reason to continue to milk the system at the expense of the poor and vulnerable, but then that is what they have always done so nothing new there really.
Tax evaders love the great Union because the rich get to pay so much less than the poor and what they do pay is even less because they get to hide even that away in off shore accounts that they know won’t get touched by anyone.
The Unions great if you are looking to make a quick pound on the sale of national assets and want to take the long view as the health service gets privatised and you can pick off the profitable bits and leave the loss making bits to the taxpayer, oh that happened in all of them.
The Unions great if you are middle class, and you have two middle class incomes coming in. You get to live the middle class dream and not really give a shit about anyone or anything other than the golf club, the theatre, the tutors, the holidays and who is cheating on who.
The Unions great if you are Johann Lamont MSP, you get to pretend you are in charge of the Scottish Tories called Labour, you can be as abusive, rude, and as insulting as you want to be at the taxpayers’ expense. You have no real responsibility other than being a really bad politician but the Union lets you pretend you are important.
The Unions great when you are a celebrity and have benefitted from social security when it was actually social security. You get a title, people kiss your arse and tell you how wonderful you are and then they get to parade you to the cameras and say look here is a wee person from Scotland, haven’t they done really well we’ll give them an OBE.
The Union is great when you can dump your nuclear weapons in a part of it hidden away so don’t have to look at them, but having them allows you to pretend you are important and fuck the poor, vulnerable and the disabled who are paying for it. What does it matter you are alive to serve the Union, their Union and you will do as you are fucking told as we need to go to New York to threaten a wee small country and pretend to be tough on others but we’re not really.
The Unions great when you have achieved your place in it through your family ties, never ever having a real job, a political party system that keeps the scum out and the good in. You get to protect your pals in the City and on the country estate where you go shooting, and the really great thing is you get those with the least to pay for it all the while telling them you are doing them a favour.
The Union is great if you are right wing nutter who hates foreigner’s and need to a way to express those feelings without persecution.
The Unions great for those who have the most, but absolutely shit for those who have the least.